User-Friendly

C:\> DUR

Command not found. Try retyping

User-Helpful

C:\> DUR

I don't understand DUR. Do you mean DIR?

User-Patronizing

C:\> DUR

Now, that's not quite right is it? Let's try again; this time, use the manual that the nice salesperson gave you when you bought me.

User-Obsequious

C:\> DUR

I'm so very, very sorry but I don't understand that. I'm sure it was my fault, but if you would please try again I'll do my best.

User-Analytical

C:\> DUR

What makes you say that?

C:\> A TYPING MISTAKE

How long have you been making these mistakes?

C:\> OH, BANANAS

Do you like bananas?

C:\> I LOVE THEM

Why do you bring up the subject of love?

User-McDonald's

May I help you please?

C:\> DUR

I'm sorry but that command is not available at this time.

Have a nice day.

C:\> DIR

Will that be an MS-DOS directory?

C:\> YES

To read here, or for printout to take away?

C:\> HERE

Thank you. Have a nice day.

User-Megalomaniac

C:\> DUR

Don't bother me with trivial requests -- I'm busy.

User-Hostile

C:\> DUR

Ha! A mistake! I'm sure you meant to say FORMAT, so that's what I'll do.

User-Sarcastic

C:\> DUR

Well, Look who's made a mistake then. Very unusual, I don't think.

User-Insulting

C:\> DUR

You Idiot

C:\> DIR

You Idiot

User-Smug

C:\> DUR

No

C:\> DOR

Nope

C:\> HELP

No

C:\> PLEASE

Not unless you give me a 300Mb hard disk to live on.

C:\> JERK

Abuse will get you nowhere

By ???